Ka - thump, ka-thump,ka-thump,ka-thump,ka-thump,ka-thump....
Low bidder, corrupt friend of corrupt politician, concrete not up to specifications, warps out when overweight trucks drive over it, spend big tax bucks to grind it level but it warps out agains in a few weeks, nobody drives in the right lane because your eyes won't focus after a few minutes of rattling on a cheap roller coaster, but geez is it really another hour and a half to Birmingham, Welcome to Alabama.
It ain't Katrina, this is Tupelo, anybody else in the whole world born here besides Elvis, Soccer game cancelled, lightning sure is cool, branches in nine different directions and fills up the whole sky, found the wine store, fifteen 17 year old incredibly fit boys, all psyched up to fight over a number five ball, stuck in cheeziest motel with the creepiest manager, Norman Bates weekend manager at Microtel, thing for men in uniform(?), calls police, no alcohol in lobby, why didn't you tell us, assistant says wasn't her fault he's crazy, soccer mom asks why we weren't told, Norman says don't get smart with me, lady, she wasn't getting smart with you, Oh yes I was, says soccer mom, he's not telling the truth and all he had to do was let us know, Welcome to Mississippi.
Rat face Norman, creeps by three times, open door, parents watching misnamed football game, son calls, Dad can you come up here, boys playing videogames, police say too loud, people next door "they weren't bothering us," 9:30, sign says quiet starts at ten, Norman Bates says couldn't locate parents, he's lying, we know say police, close door, talk to boys about irrational little piss ant people with no lives who have power to put us out of rooms into the night, all they had to do was tell us, we know, they weren't bothering us, nobody called to complain, what's his problem, he's lying, we know, Welcome to Microtel.
After the storm, beautiful morning, out of continental breakfast coffee, does anybody empty trash here, staff not friendly, still no coffee, check out, blessed relief, blank stare when I say tell Norman bye, get to watch great soccer, boys win, hit the road, two hours to Birmingham, three hours home, Ka-thump, ka-thump, blessed relief, welcome to Georgia.
Chattanooga soon, one hour left, drive past barbecue shack, no public restrooms, don't use grass, sign says that, honest, Welcome to Tennessee.
gas light on, last stop, last mile, Welcome to Glen Alice.
Open car door, dog in lap, glad to see me,
Welcome to Whites Creek,
Welcome to Home.