Ah, local politics.
I'm voting for Bleep 'cause Blorp took Blip's girlfriend when he was away at fooball camp in the 11th grade.
Blorp's is related to my wife's husband's mother in law, so I gotta vote for him.
Bleep used to live in Hooville but he moved to Thereville so I can't vote for him.
I heard Blorp hates cats so that does it for me.Can't vote for him.
Bleep goes to that church..you know...That church. I just can't vote for him.
Blorp don't go to church. Can't vote for him.
Bleep's wife is a real, uh, bleep. Can't vote for him.
I heard Blorp made a lot of money. You know what that means.
I heard Bleep don't pay his bills. You know what that means.
You-know-who is FOR Blorp...I just can't vote for him 'cause of that.
You-know-what is against Bleep...I just can't vote for him because of that.
You-kno-who did you-know-what with you-know-who-else's wife...Can't vote for him.
You-know-who-else's wife got caught...you know...can't vote for him.
Yeah... Or that other one neither...
Yeah...Not him or him, or that other one neither. Just ain't no good.
Uh Huh...Who you like in the Shurf race?
"You know Ann Coulter? She was on CNBC today and she said 'Bill Clinton is gay.' Please, just because she's the only woman on the planet he wouldn't have sex with doesn't make him gay." --Jay Leno
"A Tomahawk cruise missile fell off a truck in the Bronx this week. A cruise missile, isn't that unbelievable? You know what that means? There are now more weapons of mass destruction in the Bronx than there are in Iraq."
"Condoleezza Rice was in Rome and she visited the Vatican and all the priests were very happy to see her. And everybody kept asking her 'What's it like to be celibate?'." -
. . . It is inevitable that you are indebted to the past. You are fed and formed by it. The old forest is decomposed for the composition of the new forest. The old animals have given their bodies to the earth to furnish through chemistry the forming race, and every individual is only a momentary fixation of what was yesterday another’s, is to-day his, and will belong to a third to-morrow. So it is in thought. Our knowledge is the amassed thought and experience of innumerable minds; our language, our science, all religion, our opinions, our fancies we inherited.. . . Our country, customs, laws, our ambitions, and our notions of fit and fair,–all these we never made; we found them ready-made; we but quote them......