Big stars for 25 years now, is it time for these two monsters of the screens big and small to come out??
They share a room, and a bedroom, if not a bed. They bicker like husband and wife. They frequently break out in song. One has a curious obsession with his rubber ducky.
To answer that burning question our cracked research team here at Whites Creek Journal has delved into tthis scandal and can now lay to rest a persistent entertainment industry rumor: Bert and Ernie, regardless of what Jerry Falwell's ardent followers might think, are NOT gay!
The proof is evident when one watches them perform in rehearsal. They cannot have sexual preferences of that sort because they cannot have sexual preferences whatsoever. The truth of the matter is that Bert and Ernie are puppets. They have no naughty bits. They simply do not exist from the waist down.
...the sexuality of other cartoon characters has come into question over the years. Anti-gay groups have accused SpongeBob SquarePants and Tinky Winky of the "Teletubbies" of harboring a homosexual agenda...
The fact that these characters are complete fiction seems to be lost on certain folks who still harbor the delusion that one may be recruited into a particular sexual lifestyle by reading the wrong comic books or watching TV a little too early on Saturday morning. Yes it's true that Batman spends more time with Robin than with Batgirl or Catwoman, even, but what does that prove?
Pee Wee Herman has a girlfriend as does Oscar the Grouch, though Oscar does live in a trash can with his pet worm, but hey...What does THAT prove? I'm pretty sure Oscar's girl friend was a sham. Happens all the time in Hollywood. Why do some people have lives so small that they even care? They should focus on the really big issues like instant replay in football and that floating pile of plastic the size of the USA in the Pacific Ocean. The personal persuasion of a fictional creation has about as much relevance to the state of the world as the real meaning of what those dark bits in Moose Tracks ice cream are supposed to represent. These questions are not for a child's world and Henson knew that. Instead he gave us characters with differences and empathy and taught us to love them. Stepping back and reviewing the body of work one has to accept that Jim Henson's creations are as great a force for the acceptance of our differences as any on this planet. It is a monumental force for good.
At any rate, today marks the 40th anniversary of the Muppets and I wish Jim Henson could be here to enjoy it. The creativity brought forth by the puppeteers has been marvelous and uplifting at times and raucously funny at others. If you have never taken a child to a Muppets stage show your life is the poorer for it. It's not too late. What a gift to the world.
Thank you , Jim Henson. Thank you, puppeteers.
Good night Ernie. Good night Bert. Must be fun to get through life and never have to wear pants.
Peace,
Steve
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