Sunday Sermon from the Ministry of Truth

A caring message to the Conservatives sheep ...with sympathy: "Why don't you stop doing Satan's the Big Bad Wolf's work for him."

(I wish I had written this!)

We are sorry that you don't want your kids learning certain things. We are sorry that you are afraid and confused. We are sorry that you are angry and scared. We will try to make it better but it only works if you stop fighting us like it was good versus evil, because, dear Conservatives, liberals are on YOUR side, not the Pharisee establishment who couldn't pass through a needles eye.

We are sorry that you live in a separate reality, dear Conservatives, and we are doing what we can to make things better. Fortunately for all of us, there are some adults in the room now, people who don't fear monger with death panels and terror strikes, conspiracy theories and misinformation. The world WILL make progress, and we can't afford to do it without you. We can't have you fighting us tooth and nail anymore either. We can't afford to wait for you to figure it out, dear Conservatives, so we may have to go on without you, because our future is too important to screw up, and right now, you're not helping.

And that's just some of the punch lines. I invite you to read the rest.