Thursday, April 07, 2005

A boy named Karol

Should somebody warn the Vaticaners? Or is that Vaticonians? Vaticanites?

Anyway that Presidential visit to look at the dead guy's body is a pretense. I mean everybody knows that President Bush and Condi Rice are hellbent on bringing democracy to all sorts of countries and the Vatican, after all , is an independant and sovereign nation and is NOT a democracy! If they drive up and the Presidential motorcade is all Humvees...Well I told you so!

I mean it is OK to keep women from voting if you do business with the Prez and his boys. Saddam and Rummy got along just fine, getting weapons of Mass Destruction in nice padded crates delivered at very reasonable cost as long as Saddam was picking on Iran and leading Rummy on about letting Rummy's company build a really big oil pipeline which they would then control.

But you see what happened as soon as Saddam decided having Rummy run your economy wasn't a good idea! The Ambassador fron the US says "Sure, invade Kuwait all you want...No problem." And soon as you do, BOOM, they start dropping Bunker Busters on your women and children. I'm pretty sure that when Pope John Paul ll (just his stage name, actually. His real name was Karol...) told President Bush that he did not like the Iraq war one little bit, Old George made a mental note to "bring a little democracy" on his ass, too!

I was thinking I might be out on a limb here, but the more I thought about it, the more convinced I became that Bush is going to invade the Sistine Chapel!

I mean the Iraq war was, "Not about oil!" I repeat,

"Not about oil!"

It was to bring Democracy to Iraq!

How many times do I got to tell ya? They wouldn't let women vote and only had one candidate for everything anyway. Democracy, I tell you. That's the ticket. And that's why I'm worried about Bush invading the Vatican. Soon as he does, Pow! there goes all Michaelangelo's paintings and statues of god, being naked from the waist up and Jesus being naked everywhere else, that the Country of Vatican has stashed in every nook and cranny. Bush seems to have some deal with some international art dealer to fence all the looted stuff from these countries he brings democracy to.

Think I'm wrong? Well how about this one...Not only do the Vaticanians not let women vote, but here's the weirdest thing of all:

Not one married man will be allowed to vote on the new Pope, either!

Now that's getting pretty damned close to home, being a married man, I take that personal, and if President Bush wants to bring Democracy to all the married men in the sovereign Nation of the Vatican, well maybe I'll just wave my American Flag and support our Troops right along with him! ...Long as I get to stay in Alabama while somebody else fights, that is.

What the hell kinda country only lets old virgin men of high rank, wearing red suits and beanies, cast a vote anyway?

Time to put together another "Coalition of the Willing" and Democratize the crap out of these guys, if that's what they really are...but this time, George old buddy, I think you can forget about Poland.

Of course, now George, if you can get the New Pope to promise to bless your impending war with Iran, which won't be about oil, either, why then you can just have a fine time and try on a couple of beanies, get some phots of you looking all pious and thoughtful and come on back home. But if not, could I get one of those paintings on the Sistine Chapel wall? You can have the Shepherd's crook. It will look nice alongside that pistol you got from Iraq.

Peace,

Steve

4 comments:

  1. It's all like a hellacious story of corruption right out of the Medici era. Lovely details about the unmarried men. Do the choir boys get to vote? Here's a link I'm touting today from Billmon...

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  2. beeyootiful post, sir!

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  3. We seem to be thinking along the same lines. You put it much better, though.

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