Friday, December 02, 2005

Breaks the Ice at Parties

Someone asked me how I figure out what to write about. Actually, it is more like figuring out what NOT to write about. As a self styled warrior for "Truth Justice, and the American Way," there's plenty to attack, but sometimes you just gotta have fun.

Having fun sometimes means getting involved in civil conversations with actual conservatives. It is a vile philosophy, what with its hatred and lying, but the folks serving in the trenches of conservatism are usually just followers and not necessarily evil unto themselves. Having a couple of glasses of wine and laughing at them can be fun. Here's a party game you can play with conservatives. AS soon as someone asks a question about politics, start your stopwatch. Conservatives usually cannot go more than sixty seconds without lying. This equires a bit of actual factual knowlege on your part, but then that is why you read this blog, eh?

One thing you will notice, by the way, is that a Conservative never admits being wrong. Caught in a bald faced lie, they tend to start shouting about Bill Clinton.

Start the clock.

Usually, the first lie you will catch a conservative saying involves the old "Liberal Media" myth. No peer revued study has ever found this to be true, and in fact, things are quite the opposite.

Fox News is the most obvious right wing outlet outside of Rush's daily foamings. Anyone who gets their "news" from Fox is simply misinformed. Testing of people who watch various news programs demonstrated that the most informed people in America actually watch "The Daily Show" instead of news. This is even funnier because this is a Fake news show and which apparently presents more facts than the real ones. Weird huh? Fox news watchers were significantly more the point of believing things that were not just false, but that could be true only in an alternative universe.

Now we are seeing the solidly right leaning MSNBC channel attack the Whacko Right, Fox News talking heads for, of all things, lying. Fox isn't just right wing...If you are on Fox, your totter never comes close to a "teet"...It's "Tot's" only for you, or else they kill your children.

Keith Olbermann, of MSNBC, has a war going with Bill O'Reilly, of FOX News. Olbermann is playing the game in a big way. He calls O'Reilly , "The worst person in the world!" Quite a tag to sport around. World championship "worst-ness" is dificult to acheive. Here's one big "O" going after the other:

Bill O'Reilly. On the Today show, no less. Now how the hell did that happen? Says, quote, "These pinheads running around going, 'Get out of Iraq now,' don't know what they're talking about. These are the same people before Hitler invaded in World War II that were saying, 'Ah, he's not such a bad guy.' "


That's a lie, of course.

Wanna know who went to war to defeat Hitler? America's Super Liberal, President Franklin D. Roosevelt. Democrat...Founder of Social Security.

Wanna know who was saying, "That Hitler, He's not such a bad guy."? Geroge W. Bush's dear old grandfather, Prescott Bush who made a fortune dealing with Hitler and sent George to Yale.

Somewhere today, if you run into a conservative, you will hear a conservative tell a lie. Get your buzzers ready, folks...and hey! Have some fun out there!



ps: And try to remember that most conservatives aren't bad people just ignorant...though usually by their own choice.

Here's the Olbermann riff:

O'Reilly's the Worst!

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