Buy camoflaged shotgun.
Give to 16 year old son, who has hunting liscense.
Wait for loud noise.
Help clean gobbler and put in freezer.
Cut firewood and save small hickory, cherry, and walnut limbs.
Nov. 23, 2005, take turkey out of freezer to thaw.
Nov. 24, 2005, get up early and start fire in smoker.
When temp in smoker steadies at 210, put secret rub and spices on turkey and put in smoker.
Wait...Hours only seem like months.
When cook can't stand it any longer...remove turkey from smoker. Place inside house on butcher block table in kitchen.
Test small piece. (Dang, that's good!)
When friends show up with vintage wine, take short hike to overlook above Whites Creek global headquarters.
Hike back to kitchen.
Wait no longer!
...Eat turkey, drink wine, eat other stuff, cancel afternoon hike.
Sit and talk with friends and children.
Clean kitchen tomorrow.
Loud noise yeilds proper results
See below for aftermath.