Monday, February 27, 2006

Local Man sorry for shootin'


I don't know that I can make up a story any better 'n this one.

James Starret done gone and shot his cousin. Seems he mighta been drinkin' and shootin' with his brother Martin, which is what country folks might do after they bury their own father, who..well...died.

For reasons undisclosed, James got angry and decided that the only Christian thing to do was to shoot. Only he twern't meanin' to shoot his cousin Paul, he totally meant to shoot his brother Martin.

Well, Martin, who had every intention of being Not shot, ducked and the 12 gauge shotgun load that was meant for Martin went flying into, what else in East Tenessee, but a trailer, whereupon dear cousin Paul, who was a sittin on the couch inside the aforementioned trailer, got himself shot entirely on accident.

Deputy Investigator Jon French said, "He's still alive." meaning cousin Paul.

"He's a lucky man." French said.

After much discussion, those of us still coherent enough to make such determinations decided that while cousin Paul may be lucky to be alive, Brother Martin scores way upper on the lucky scale, as the aforementioned shotgun load was meant for Brother Martin in the first anyhow.

Brother James, the shoot-er, was still in the decrepid old Roane County jail that has been much in our local news of late, being unable to make the $25,000.00 bail set for him by our one remaining Judge who is not under indictment so far.

James has asked that the good people of Roane County give special consideration to the bond issue coming up that would provide him a new house to live in and a fine excercize yard in which to take the morning air as he pays his debt to what passes for society in greater Roane County.

Those of us who live in this fair county and who are NOT related to Brother James, which is probably less than half of us, think the old accomodations are just fine.

Around here in East Tennessee, we don't have much patience with folk who shoot the wrong quail.




  1. I just hate it when that happens.

  2. Jeff D-D1:33 PM

    so - as I understand this, in Tennessee if you shoot at something and miss - totally and completely inadvertantly wounding another human being you end up in jail. While in Texas if you miss what you are aiming at and hit another human being you can go on being Vice President and FoxNews leaps immediately rto your defense. I think I'ii opt for Tennessee when it is time to move south.