Sunday, September 28, 2008

The Week Simplified

I realize that someone has to boil everything that happened this week down to the grits and serve it up for general consumption. Well, as always, I figure to give it a shot. There was way too much going on so I’ll try to keep it to the really important stuff.

The McCain campaign, fresh from their most recent pr disaster of the non-suspended campaign suspension in order to screw up the financial negotiations, have decided that their next big ploy will be tomarry off Sarah Palin’s storked teenaged daughter, Bristol, with all the networks and cable news guys invited, which will definitively prove once and for all that John McCain can still run a country.

Obama won the first Presidential debate, and even though Republican operatives posted a web ad that claimed McCain won nine hours before the debates even started and Democratic loyalists were disappointed that Obama did not eviscerate McCain in any of the several opportunities, everybody else in America does… except the 28% who still think George W. Bush is doing a good job.

Allegations by the McCain campaign that lobbyists for Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae worked for Barack Obama turned out to be transparently FALSE.

Denials by McCain himself that his campaign manager, Rick Davis, was being paid HALF a million bucks by Freddie Mac  also turned out to be TRUE…It was closer to a FULL million.

“Snake Eyes”  McCain has a gambling problem. He  spends so much time and money at Indian casinos that he has his own suite at Foxwood Casinos. Did I mention that McCain was a member of the Committee on Indian affairs and was “One of the founding fathers of Indian gaming”?

Sarah Palin has found out how to deal with her abuse of power and corruption investigation in the state of Alaska… Throw the subpoenas in the trash can. Karp Rove told her, “That’s what we do. They can’t put you in jail until after the election and you can get pardoned before anything serious goes down.”

Sarah Palin was seen in a bar but has yet to show up at a press conference… Dan Quayle sent her his Cliff Notes on “Running your Nation like it was Still a Super Power.” She apparently still has her old dog eared copy of “The Beauty Padgent Queen’s guide to answering Easy Questions for the Totally Clueless “.

Our Financial Sector Essentially collapsed… The lobbyists who sold us the problem are now busy working nights and weekends trying to sell us something else that will delay the actual collapse of the American sector until they are safely in Paraguay.  I would post a link but it’s changing so fast that it would be obsolete before you click it. Surprisingly, everybody in America seems to have called their Congressman.

The EPA has essentially shut down and will be renamed the PPA…The Polluter Protection 

Ummm…Well,  so has the FDA. But at least they react after consumer groups scream at them about their dead puppies.

Saturday Night Live continues to provide the most definitive political analysis in America.



1 comment:

  1. Thanks for the synopsis dude. You da man :)