Friday, October 06, 2006

Yes, Miss Walton

Republican Rep. Frank Lasee of Wisconsin has the answer to gun violence in Schools...More guns!

The NRA answer to gun violence in schools is for every teacher and principal to pack heat.

These people are so stupid they think we're stupid, too. All they feed on is your fear. Statistically, the safest place for a child to be is in school. More guns simply mean more gun violence and that's all there is to it.

But let's think about this in another way. I remember being in the fourth grade at Wiley Elementary School in Winston Salem, North Carolina, and I was scared. I wasn't scared of that kid in the slow class, Richard, any more because those men came and took him to another school with really small windows. And kids quit getting sick after they put the new refrigerators in the cafeteria so we weren't afraid of the food anymore. But yes, we were all afraid anyway. We were afraid of Georgia Walton, Unmarried, closet smoking, closet something else we figured out 20 years later after a couple of us talked about the travel slides she would always show us of her and her "friend" traveling to Europe on a ship and taking pictures of the nude statues and that one where the little boy was peeing into the fountain in Rome. Mrs. Walton loved all her students nearly to death. We were all absolutely certain we would be killed any second by this woman who made a Marine Corp Drill Seargent look like a pussy. At some point during that year, every kid in the room would up in front of the class blubbering "Yes, Miss Walton, No, Miss Walton, I'm s-s-s-s sorry, Miss Walton" and wishing they were dead as they slunk back to their desk. Fear! The smell of elementary schools all across America. Fear and urine, though that goes without saying since the two scents are inseparable.

Now imagine Miss Walton standing up in front of the class...with a 357.




  1. Are you insinuating that teachers may use guns on students for disciplinary purposes? Because schools are full of fear, and teachers were the last thing on my list of fears when I was in public, elementary education facilities.
    As of now, when students bring guns to school, it is like shooting fish in a barrel--there is absolutely no resistance in terms of violent force.
    I am also unsure why the NRA puts such a sour taste in your mouth. They fight to counter exactly what you and I hate so much--tyrannical christian fundamentalists' attempts to erode our fundamental freedoms as Americans. Like I've always said: Bullets speak louder than words/religions/medias.

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