Wednesday, December 08, 2004

"Got a wife in Chino..and one in Tennessee..
First one says she got my child, but it don't look like me.."

The future is bright, especially if you are young physicist, Gerard Liger-Belair! This guy is getting paid to study bubbles in Champagne by French maker Moer & Chandon. It's all about the physics of the fizz. In a related story Physiologists are being paid by the makers of Ibuprofen to NOT find a prevention for hangovers. It's all about the cash flow.

Research grants are pretty amazing. It is wonderful what gets funded...Studies are underway at the University of Chicago and Harvard (well, duh!) involving the evolutionary adaptations of sperm cells' swimming ability when having to cope with a cheating woman. I could work with material like this...but, hey, this is a family blog, right? Well, people, this is where families come from and it turns out all of us in the same family aren't necessarily related to our Dad!

Can you imagine planning out this research project? Can't use people...for obvious reasons. Let's just say that human nature plays havoc with the scientific process of gathering data. I can just see the researcher trying to look couples in the eye and ask them who they been with lately? At least the common vernacular is catching up with reality on the human interaction front...We now have the term,

"Man - Ho!"

to go along with

"That lyin' Bitch!"

Fair is fair, by golly, and equality of the sexes is a never ending quest.

Researchers had to look outside the human species to find a test subject that was faithful, such as it was. They were only able to find one primate that was even close, a lowland gorilla and even that one was only faithful for a particular fertile period. Turns out every primate known has a wandering eye, shall we say, with the lowland gorilla being the most chaste and the Bonobo, our closest living relative, being the most promiscuous. We all know where people fall in the range between those two. So we need a research project to figure this stuff out?

Research team member, Sarah Kingan, calls the discoveries of the project, "Fascinating!" As part of the results of the study, she determined that for between 5 and 10 percent of all offspring, the woman's apparent partner is not the father.

Potential titles for the published study included, "Differences between a Promiscuous and a Monogamous species in primate semen-viscosity genes" and the other popular choice,

"Who's Your Daddy?"

Ooooo, K!


And now we have the new style, the modern consciencious objector...Men and women who are willing to serve their country but not in violation of the constitution. I envision a new bumper sticker:

"W" Didn't go to Viet Nam OR Alabama,

Why do I have to go to Iraq?

..."I was walking to the chow hall with my unit and we were yelling, 'Train to kill, kill we will,' over and over again," recalls Hinzman.

"I kind of snuck a peek around me and saw all my colleagues getting red in the face and hoarse yelling, and at that point, a light went off in my head and I said, 'You know, I made the wrong career decision.'"

...Whether a country lives under freedom or tyranny or whatever else, that's the collective responsibility of the people of that country," says Hinzman.

He later adds that his contract with the military was "to defend the Constitution of the United States, not take part in offensive, preemptive wars."

From CBS of course:

Hero or deserter?

In Afghanistan...bullets flying in an undisciplined hail, screaming death through the air... And with his last breath he shouted, trying to save the lives of his comrades. He lifts his head, realizing the tragedy unfolding, unnecessary, wrong, evil...They were killing each other. Stupid in their fear driven rage.

The basic training chant rising to fever in their brains...

"Trained to kill! Kill we will!"....and kill they did...his brothers...

The last words that came out of Pat Tillman's mouth were,

"Cease Fire! Friendlies!"

Screaming, trying to save his brothers...they shot him dead, his brothers did.




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