Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Song of the South

Well, I wish I was in the Land of Cotton, Old times there, are not forgotten....
Look Ah Waaaaayy!....And get ready for some crawfishing!

Here's the News:

"As part of its 2006 budget proposal, the Bush administration would trim benefits for growers of most staple crops, including wheat, corn and soybeans. But economists and officials say the hardest hit would be the big producers of cotton in Republican strongholds of Texas, Mississippi, Arkansas, Tennessee, Alabama and Georgia....

The U.S. Department of Agriculture projects that cotton farmers will gobble up a quarter of farm subsidy payments this year, with most going to a few hundred big growers...
The president's decision to take on the farm lobby has caught many by surprise. He gave no hint of it during his reelection campaign, which was based on winning the South and most of the upper Midwest farm states. The president himself comes from a major cotton-producing state....

Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tenn.)... has yet to spell out his position...."

(I believe that would be the "doggy" postition in Senator Frist's case.)


I killed a cat once, too, Senator Frist, so I feel your pain! Of course I didn't mean to run over it and I didn't lie to anybody about it, just so I could cut open its head and play with its brain like you did...

And I didn't lie to anybody, telling them that I was going to take really good care of the cat, and give it a good home, and then...Take the cat home...

cut open its chest and cut out its still beating heart!...Like you did Senator Frist.

And something else, I felt bad, and you didn't. You didn't feel bad about lying! That was your sin, Senator.

So what are you going to do now? Your President, the one you lied for on a hundred occaissions has stabbed you, doggy style, right in the old ass. His new budget proposal will cut the heart out of one of your biggest constituencies...Corporate Agribiz. You know...the Memphis branch of King Cotton.

Senator, you and your Conservative moron (Ok, I know that's redundant) friends bent over and lied for George and now he hits you right in the bank account but proposing to cut Millions from the Federal blood money paid to your farmer friends. He is going to cut your Farmer welfare from $360,000 pre farm all the way to $250,000. Of course we know it's much worse than that because your Agribiz friends actually run paper sham farms that let's them collect millions each in "Welfare".

Well I know how you Conservatives hate "Welfare" so this will be fine with you, right? And I know you really have to knawing your other arm off to get out from under the Coyote Ugly fact that Bush's boss, Dick Cheney still owns huge amounts of Halliburton stock by way of his own little mutual fund, and Halliburton has gobbled up ten times the amount of money Bush is cutting from your Cotton farmer friends welfare check. Why hell, John Negroponte Lost more money than that while he was running Iraq!

Why does Bush have to screw you and your friends, Bill? This is small change, right?

Once or twice upon a time, Senator Frist, I myself picked cotton. I know you and I have both killed cats but I doubt if you've ever picked cotton.

I worked in a cotton field right along side maybe fifty or so black men and women and their children and I liked it. I liked it because I didn't have to do it, really, and it was fun being a 12 year old kid out in a Georgia field standing right in the middle of a Black acapella chorus singing about the hot sun and gettin' the bossman's work done for him. I liked how those folks worked all day and smiled all day too.

I remember white teeth and big grins and knowing I was different, but it was fun. Those folks are all out of work anyway, now. Dead or old. They were replaced by a machine decades ago and the poisons they put on the fields are even worse now, but at least DDT is gone. But now you face the layoff of thousands of...Machines! if President Bush's budget goes through as it is now, those poor machines will be out of work, left to rust in the fields. Your cotton farmer friends claim they'll have to switch to soybeans or wuit farming altogether and go work in a factory...Oh wait! Senator you've ruined the manufacturing sector in America, haven't you?

There are no factory jobs to speak of, are there Senator?

I guess all your cotton farmer friends can go to work in Wal-Mart selling each other Chinese made stuff, eh?


Courage, Dr. Frist. There's always plenty of cats left for you to play with.

Looks like old George is taking you down, just so's you won't be in Jeb's way in 08.

That's the way a Pimp gotta do a HO, Bill.

Nothing personal.




Lifted shamelessly from


Newspaper Humor
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could find the time -- and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.

10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy provided, of course, that they are not Republicans.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

12. None of these is read by the guy who is running the country... into the ground.

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