Monday, August 14, 2006

A Tisket a Musket

I think I've figured out Al Qeada'a problem.

They need to take a clue from the National Rifle Association, start up a PAC, and give a bunch of money to American politicians. Call it "campaign donations" and it'll be fine with the regulators. If they need a bit more cabbage to sweeten things up, there's always the old "wife on the payroll" gambit, as in,

"Congressman Bombast, having served almost two months as a nurses aid in the summer of '87, we know your wife has the experience we need to serve as our Assistant band aid procurement officer. How does $150,000 as a base salary with perks and a private plane sound?"

Al Queda has managed to kill or assist in killing less than 3000 Americans in five years and boy are we pissed. That's chump change for killing. The donut industry does better than that. With nearly a million people dying each year from cardiovascular disease, the Beef, Pork, and Corn Syrup Lobby takes it hands down for killing. Problem is they don't get credit for it like the NRA. A diseased heart just isn't much of a satisfying way to kill... no loud bang, no blood, and only one siren.

Guns, on the other hand, are the macho way. Big noise, screaming, blood, and tons of sirens...Especially if it's the Cops who get the high score this time around. You can think about the NRA vision for America with assault weapons in every home, Iraq and get a pretty good idea of how it would work. More guns...safer families...Buy that?

One fifth of all American kids who die in the 15 to 24 year old bracket die from guns. About 6500 of them a year. Mostly they are killing each other. The probability of a law abiding citizen protecting themselves with a gun is nearly zero. A man is more likely to drop a gun and shoot his own balls off than he is to protect his family with it.

So why is it that Republican politicians trample each other to be the one in the picture waving that muzzle loading musket around at the NRA convention? Pretty simple...A few Million in campaign money and largesse, and presto, Bin Laden and Associates have nice offices on K Street.

I figure Al Queda will figure it out pretty soon, rent a huge banquet hall and give out awards and campaign gifts to every right winger in Congress. I only forsee one problem for Osama's plan to win over Congress and that has to do with one of the tenets of Islam...No pork.



The Numbers


  1. Anonymous1:44 PM

    Steve - I'm falling apart laughing. Truth is always funny!

  2. I am a strong supporter of all of the Amendments to the Constitution, not just the second. Everyone believes in gun control, however, we only disagree on where we draw the line.