Sunday, July 03, 2005

Miss me when I'm gone


My friends who are also Right Wing Whackos,

(The rest of you can read along just for fun...this really doesn't apply to you...Really!)

You folks have a break coming...I am leaving for Costa Rica soon, and won't be back for a week or two. In the mean time you guys will have to figure out how to amuse yourselves without my irritating babbling in the blogospheric winds. I don't think it will be all that hard, but just in case I hope to leave you with some helpful hints, just to fill the void of my absence.

It'll be sort of like when you have a tooth that the filling fell out of and it's been hurting all weekend, and then you finally get in to see the dentist after sitting in his reception room enjoying the .75 seconds free of pain between each heartbeat which seems to thump right on top of that nerve ending in your jaw must be the one connected to your legs, arms, chest and the top of your head which mostly includes your face...And roughly seven thousand heatrbeats later, when the dentist gets through telling you about his last fishing trip he took and how his wife got mad at him because he hadn't finished painting the gutters before he left, he finally injects the magic juice into the hole he bored into your jaw with the dental equivalent of posthole diggers...and the pain just stops.

But, that is too great a shock to your system, being so suddenly pain free after dreading your next hearbeat for the last fifty one hours, and you stick your toungue into the hole in the tooth and poke around in there to see if the pain will come back...Where have you gone, pain, old friend?

"I'm still here", says your pain, "It is just that your physiological mainstream media that once would tell you about something that was very wrong with your body has been taken over by the medical version of Fox News."...You will now feel only odd sensations that have nothing to do with whether your tooth will survive, to nourish future generations of fat cells, or not. For the next three hours, the field reporters of your nervous system will only jabber about missing white children, mostly teenage girls, the last throes of some obviously liberal fed insurgency, and the weird sensation of drool running down your chin.

The Dentist is a good and Christian man so you can trust him to do the right thing. You need not have a care in the world, just be sure to get your prescription filled...(Did I ever tell you about my family dentist who filled five of my teeth that didn't have cavities so he could support his drug habit?...True! Douglasville, Ga. 1970, found out 5 years later from another dentist) But your Dentist wears Red and Blue ties, so you needn't worry. Supports the troops, too...Got a Yellow ribbon on the back of his Lexus SUV!

So what are you going to do without ME, WhitesCreek, to point out how rotten and corrupt the leaders you voted for have always been (and that your dentist's other car is an Beemer M4)?

Just pretend it is the weekend and you have been holding for the next available representative...

Your call is important to us! Really!

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Quotes of the day:

A televised debate between a Fundamentalist Christian Minister and a Muslim Cleric was on yesterday. I watched but had to change the channel before I hurt myself laughing...


"Jesus was the son of God. We have the inerrant proof given us in the Bible."


"Jesus was merely a prophet, as clearly stated in the Quran, which being of more recent origin than the Bible is more correct...People who claim to be his followers don't appear to heed his words anyway."

1 comment:

  1. Superb post. Hope you have a wonderful vacation. You will be missed.